I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn’t hurt people and it’s not two spaces after a period.
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No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face.
Nice try appliances that play music when the cycle is over. You’re not tricking me into enjoying housework.
Those stupid stress balls don’t work!!!… I just ate one, and it got stuck in my throat… And now, I’m more stressed than before!!!
Kid: if you could turn invisible, what’s the first thing you would do?
Me: take a nap
Them: What did you make for dinner?
Me: Arroz con pollo
Them: What’s that?
Me: Chicken and rice
Them: Why didn’t you just say that?
Me: I get scared. I can’t explain it. It’s a weird feeling when the change happens.
Friend: They’re just transition lenses. Please calm down.
astronaut: houston come in
houston: this had better be important
astronaut: it’s urgent
houston: fine what
astronaut: [drinking soda out of the air] rootbeer float
The computer keyboard was invented before the mouse. It was a precursor.
THERAPIST: you’re always trying to make other people happy. You should focus on doing that for yourself too.
Me: would that make you happy?