@KeetPotato: [in heaven after crucifixion]
jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there"
god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"
![[in heaven after crucifixion]
jesus: “they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there”
god: [rubbing his neck] “see the thing is”](/cache/85982.jpg)
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@Smug_Lemur: Anyone who says living well is the best revenge has clearly never relocated a bat colony while their enemy was at work.
@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof
@abbycohenwl: Watch me get this baby up to 90 miles per hour! - inventor of the infant catapult moments before his arrest
@DurtMcHurtt: [job interview] What are your strengths? Me: inventing special occasions. Is that even a *I interrupt him with a happy cereal day song*
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