@JimmerThatisAll: In high school I only played the trombone so I could hit people and make it look like an accident.
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@HenpeckedHal: DATE: I need a shot. Any recommendations? BARTENDER: *looks me up & down* Penicillin.
@G_Faylor: [blind date] HER: I'm a first-grade teacher. ME (trying to impress her): *pees in pants*
@hoopnazi: getting real tired of hearing opinions on murder from people outside the murderer community
@fart: my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy.