What idiot called them Key & Peele instead of Jo-key.
In some societies it’s considered rude to put post-it notes on people’s heads in the doctor’s surgery with your guess what’s wrong with them
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*pets a duck* helo litle friemd u used to b a dinosuar
I buy blocks of cheese.
For the grater good.
Stop, collaborate and listen. Manda’s back with news from the kitchen. Calories grab a hold of me tightly I want nachos daily and nightly…
someone suggested riding a bike during the pandemic wasn’t safe, as if I wasn’t obviously planning on wearing a condom
A heart-shaped pizza just means less pizza and that’s not a sacrifice I’m willing to make for love.
Don’t give her a Fitbit for Mother’s Day. I repeat, don’t give her a Fitbit for Mother’s Day.
I’ve finally convinced my parents to let me get their fruit & vege & my dad has now sent me this floor plan of the shop. Clearly I’m 44 & a total moron 🙂
Ghost cat: how’d you die?
Ghost dog: i bit a guy that ran over my best pal and they put me down
GC: i got hit by a car
GD: I know