Astronauts are cowards, why don’t you stay down here and face earth’s problems like a man
In space, no one can hear you scream. Because it’s space, and everyone is on the ground. What are you even doing up there?
You Might Also Like
I like to pack a healthy lunch for work so that by 3 p.m. I’m ready to do unspeakable things for a piece of chocolate.
Her: I like dogs
Me: *dies in 10-13 years*
[first day in the army]
me: hi I like your slacks
him: stop calling them slacks they’re camo pants
me: ok but I also like your blouse
The best thing about the Pluto image from NASA is the silhouette of Pluto the dog right on it.
If one more person stands up and talks about their alcoholism I’m quitting this book club.
I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN
what if it doesnt want to be called hot sauce???? what if it wants to be called beautiful sauce
They say if you love something you should let it go, but I don’t think this pastrami sandwich will come back to me, so I’m just eating it.
STOP PUTTING DIARRHOEA MEDICATION ON THE BOTTOM SHELF