@RefractReality

In terms of spelling difficulty, I think the word “average” is between easy and hard.

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@SonOfCha

They say if you ever get attacked by a shark you should punch it in the nose which is easy cause imagine how composed you would be.

@jjhartinger

My neighbors, leaf blowing Larry and tile cutting Tim, are in the midst of a noise war, so I blasted “Let it Go” and won.

@handsock_butts

date: I’m sick of bad boys, I want something more

me: *puts Bad Boys 2 into the VCR* this is gunna blow your mind

@notfolu

I had to delete Facebook because I liked too many pictures of dogs yesterday and now the newsfeed algorithm thinks I care about those people

@notittryagain

Sometimes I overhear a conversation and want to tell one of them to run

@Marlebean

Maybe you owe the rhythm some money and that’s why it’s trying to get you.

WE DON’T KNOW!

@itsa_talia

why would old man skeletor wait until the 3rd period of the final game to introduce new uniforms to the team you’re a stupid old man

@AddledPixie

I hate it when I’m in a rage and suddenly remember I’m not wealthy so I can’t hurl expensive bone china into the fireplace.

@stockejock

I scream,
You scream,
We all scream
Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again.