getting real tired of hearing opinions on murder from people outside the murderer community
In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says “what the hell is that” when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE.
You Might Also Like
“We survived WW2 we can get through Brexit!”
“Gareth you are 41 and have never even gone paintballing what the absolute shit are you talking about”
I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch.
Getting fat sucks
Just not as much as vegetables
Genie: you still have 2 wishes left. you sure you don’t want to use them?
Me: [eating cheesecake] nope I’m good
Genie: alright then [disappears]
Me: [finishes cheesecake] oh no
The only thing I arouse is suspicion.
Attention: Will the owners of a blue planet with plate tectonics please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.
* on a date *
Date: So did you make any New Year Resolutions?
Me: I’m on a diet.
Date: So what will you order for dinner?
Me: Well, I usually get 2 pieces of pizza, but tonight I’ll only order one.
Date: Wow-that’s amazing! You’ve got some will power!
Made some terrible life choices the last few years.
Just kidding. I’m married and not allowed to make decisions.
“So we kill a tree”
“And put it inside our house”
“Then we hang up some socks”
I’m with ya
“And then we drink egg milk punch”