Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art not as nice as this time last year.
In Trump’s America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.
You Might Also Like
New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can’t do?
Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.
No more eating spaghetti while driving and this time I mean it.
[my first day as a financial investor]
“I’m going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?”
Never judge a book by its cover unless it looks stupid.
My son thinks he’s studying for his math competition. What he doesn’t know is that I’m just asking him all these questions until our checkbook is balanced.
Today, the problem with young people is they’ll never have the joy of running into their seventh-grade math teacher behind an orange plastic curtain rummaging through the adult section at the video store.
Water balloon fight, but the balloons are filled with mayo.
ME: can u pick me up in ur claws
DRAGON: go AWAY dammit
ME: can u just put me in ur mouth pls—I wanna look out from ur teeth like im in jail