Before Google, people had to go out in the alley and yell “WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?” until they got some answers.
Interviewer: How did you hear about the position?
Me: *sweating profusely* W-with my ears.
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My cat: I’M GOING TO GET THERE FIRST!!
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper “You can see me?”..
Netflix never lets you forget you watched a sex documentary
Kids going as Batman for Halloween should not be accompanied by parents unless those parents are dressed as ghosts
At least he brought enough for everyone
My youngest just brought me a bagful of her baby teeth and is demanding answers.
Me: I know you want me to be “naughty”, but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.
You can give a centaur a fish AND lead him to water, which is pretty awesome.
All you guys crying about stepping on Legos, have you ever stepped on a Barbie shoe? Heel pointing up????