interviewer: would u say ur driven
[cut to my mom waiting in the parking lot to drive me home]
me: oh yes
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Teacher: tell me what you told her.
Me: P as in Pterodactyl, A as in Artist, I as in Imaginary, G as in Gnat, and E as in Elephant.
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Me: your last words
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Me: Yes and left you a 20 piece with ranch, that has been happening a lot on this street.
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Me: Excuse me, may I have a straw please?
*entire restaurant gasps*
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nobody:
TV writers: first of all, nobody can explain anything quickly or clearly to avoid a misunderstanding
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librarian: I think he hid them both in his jacket
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that’s the thing with this thing, it’s very thingy
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trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating
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In my 30’s: I will bring this blanket into the restaurant and be the coziest.
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