@CYComedy

Is anybody else having trouble logging into my wife’s Facebook account?

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@Talkinghands69

Come close…

Closer…

Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see…

Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it’s killing me.

@BuckyIsotope

Take on cheese
(Take on cheese)
Take brie on
(Take on cheese)
Camembert
And fromage

@sensualgifs

when you’re sick of dropping subtle hints to the guy you like and getting no where

@yaboybillnye

WTF VAMPIRE BATS WILL VOMIT BLOOD INTO MOUTHS OF SICK BATS 2 KEEP THEM ALIVE THATS DOPE AF & STILL A BETTER LOVESTORY THAN TWILIGHT

@meladoodle

Crazy how women have the stereotype of being chatty when 90% of dudes have 45 minute podcasts that no one listens to…

@CornOnTheGoblin

[presses every button in elevator] here’s how Michael Bay ruined the ninja turtles

@superherofbmx

As an alcoholic I learned that if the light in the bathroom comes on automatically, you’re probably peeing in the fridge.