God: We’ll call it a “dolphin”.
Angel: And it’s like a friendlier shark?
God: Turn its frown upside down.
Angel: That’s not much of a diff-
God: Give it a sideways tail.
God: Punch a hole in its noggin.
Is cyanide the most efficient way to kill someone? Asking for a fiend.
You Might Also Like
Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. “We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle.”
I’d be lost without the care instructions on these pants.
Me: I love my eyes
Shampoo: *cracks knuckles*
I have a black cat called Blackie and a fish called Fishface, so I get it guy who named the Walkie talkie.
[god creating seahorses]
angel: any more ideas for animals?
god: ok, what if tiny saxophones could swim
6: Dad what’s a Kardashian?
Me: Nobody really knows…
6: Sounds really stupid
Me: I love you
canadian assassins are called killergrams
Me: *shares canteen*
Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out*
Me: it’s ketchup, you have to wait a bit.
While looking in my rear view mirror, it looked like something was in my hair. It was my bald spot. My bald spot was in my hair.