@WilliamAder: It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart.
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@ohen39: [gets pulled over] cop: do you know how fast you were growing? me: officer, I wa-wait did you say growing? cop: *removes mask to reveal grandma* you've gotten so big
@CatherineLMK: Be warned, person who set of a whole bunch of fireworks at 4 am--you've made a minimally powerful enemy.