@Parentpains: It's actually pretty easy to win an argument with a woman when you wait until she's not around to have it.
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@ariscott: For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.
@JessG828: Kid just asked "why is it called 'flipping the bird'? Why not turtle? Flipping the Turtle." I can't even answer that bc WHY NOT TURTLE?!
@MarfSalvador: Me: I need a doctor's appointment Receptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow? Me: No I don't need that many