Twitter should offer Shkreli his account back for $10,000 and if he agrees say sorry and suddenly raise the price 5600%
It’s cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read.
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The power steering went out in my car. Rather than fix it I’ve decided to get stronger.
Pandas, skunks and zebras are the oldest species on Earth, dating back to long before colour was invented.
If you love something set it free then immediately tackle it by the legs.
I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called. Apparently stabbing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.
Joke of the day
Coworker sneezed, and said “Oh my. I don’t know where that came from.”
I’m no Scientist, but I’m pretty sure it came from her nose.
The nominees are
And the winner is
mad max fury road
“911 what’s ur emergency”
This guy’s not breathing
“Did u send him ur vibes?”
Yes I been sending em
“I’m sending some too”
Okay he good now
Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with.