@TheBoydP: It's like my Granddad used to say "Sarcasm is not a good thing to bring to a gun fight either."
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@LittleMissLizz: My gynecologist sent me a refund check for $18.70. I don’t know what it’s for but I feel like I need to be offended.
@krisv_723: I have pictures of random children in my house. When my kid misbehaves I gently remind him of the brothers & sisters that came before him that are no longer part of the family.
@Rollinintheseat: Interviewer: “Why did you leave your last job?” Me: “After coming back from vacation, all my passwords had expired. It was easier to resign than reset them.”