[first cat being domesticated]
What’s that thing your petting?
“It’s called a cat”
Do they bite?
“Oh ya LOL all the time!”
It’s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you’ve reached your destination.
You Might Also Like
Boss: I need that report by noon
Me: Consider it done
Boss: Where’s that report?
Me: Huh? I thought we’d agreed to consider it done?
Coyotes are dangerous, stay away.
If you keep this in mind, you will lessen your chances of being hit by an anvil.
My goal is to be a troll as great as this guy one day
I saw on a package of condoms they had a money back guarantee. So how does that work? Do I just mail the baby to them?
“Kids! Come say goodbye to your father!”
-Me, when my husband has a cold.
My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what’s happening.
We were out of toilet paper in the hall bathroom. I asked 4 to bring me some.
He brought about 10 sheets.
I told him, no, I need the entire roll.
He came back with an entire roll, completely unrolled.
I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don’t do that guys, don’t do that.
me: my phone is always on silent
them: don’t you miss calls?
me: yes 🙂