@longwall26: It's not the most ethical move in the world, but in a pinch you can hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.
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@stephenjmolloy: *dog comes up to me* "I think he likes me!" Cop: "We are going to search you for drugs now."
@robfee: Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
@GrantTanaka: cat: so how u been me: well, kinda been depressed about work and traffic was- cat: [presses paw to my lips] lol shut up I don’t care feed me