@Izianikapani: Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes.

@huntigula: [mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]

@Donna_McCoy: Just turned a corner and bumped into a woman with drawn-on eyebrows. I'm not sure which of us was more surprised.

@PhuckinCody: [walks into interview wearing light up Sketchers] WALMART INTERVIEWER: whoa I didn't know corporate was coming

@LurkAtHomeMom: If you're going to get a puppy to practice raising kids, you need to get like 50 of them.