@Lerky: I've slept with enough babysitters to know how to raise a kid thanks mom
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@Izianikapani: Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes.
@huntigula: [mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]
@Donna_McCoy: Just turned a corner and bumped into a woman with drawn-on eyebrows. I'm not sure which of us was more surprised.
@PhuckinCody: [walks into interview wearing light up Sketchers] WALMART INTERVIEWER: whoa I didn't know corporate was coming