Jamaica has declared war on drugs.
Actually, they pretty much do everything on drugs.

You Might Also Like


howdy. i’m a sheriff in this here movie or show. and if i see somethin startlin? well… best believe i’m takin my hat off at it. real slow


I ain’t sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.


To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave.


Her: you haven’t changed since the day we met



Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick.


Am I a decent cook who can turn out a killer meal? yes

Will you sometimes still find paper from the stick of butter in my pan? also yes


I’ve had intimate problems all my life. I just can’t get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind.


[ first date ]

her: i like a man who plans financially for the future

me: i swallowed $9.13 this morning that i won’t be able to spend until later


that lonely feeling when you oust your ex as mayor of your genitals on foursquare