@causticbob: Jay-Z is actually the 26th generation of the Jay family, which dates back to the middle-ages, when Jay-A invented rap.
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@LoriLuvsShoes: So I told my husband that I have a TC and he said, "that's really cute. See if he wants to fund your shoe addiction"
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I need to draw some blood." Me: "Okay." Doctor: "Do you have a red crayon I could borrow?"
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@ericsshadow: CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child. FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers.