“Je t’aime” = “I love you”
“Je t’anime” = “I love anime”
You Might Also Like
god forbid anyone in my family is kidnapped, the kidnapper will bark complicated instructions thru a tube sock on the phone and hang up, i’m on the other end saying huh i gotta do what now
In India, Twitter crush is choosen by your parents.
Food trucks but instead of food it’s therapy and they’re called automofeels
Girlfriend: Are you ready to be a dad?
“I don’t know, how would I know?”
GF: I’m pregnant!
“Hi Pregnant, I’m… OH MY GOD I’M READY”
so unrealistic when scary movies show an empty rocking chair rocking back and forth. there should be a pile of laundry on it
Don’t pretend like your cat wouldn’t 100% microwave fish if they had half a chance.
me: why does my back hurt
also me:
HIM: somebody should probably do the dishes
ME: *drinking wine out of a bowling trophy* agree to disagree
Movie idea: a gang of precision bank robbers, who were—now get this—trained…by…a…Doberman.
I put a potato down my pants to impress a girl. Next time I’ll put it down the front.
When you take Google Maps too seriously.
It’s not Christmas until I see Snoopy eating 37 human femurs.
[blind date]
HER: I just wish women were treated equal…You know what I mean?
ME: Absolu-
WAITER: I hate to interrupt but can I take your drink order?
HER: Yes, I’ll have a Manhattan
ME: Make mine a *turns to non-existent camera*…Womanhattan
Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
Jack: hello, beans
Beans: hello, Jack
-Jack and the beans talk
You don’t scare me. You’re not my mom saying, “I’m gonna tell your father” after she found out I broke the TV.
I been hollering for the past 10 minutes 😂😂😂
*at interview*
Him: What would you say are your strengths?
Me: Words
Him: Can you say more?
Me: More
Him:
Me: I’m also good at directions
Me: You look amazing with glasses.
Her: OMG thanks
Me: *removes my glasses* But not so much without.
[Second day in prison]
ME: *looking up from my signup sheet disappointedly* Guys you know I can’t play quidditch by myself
My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support.
Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
My dog just winked at me, and now I’m wondering just exactly what the two of us are keeping from the rest of the family.
Leonardo DiCaprio is totally getting laid tonight! This has nothing to do with the Oscar, just a safe assumption to make each and every day.
If you like piña coladas
And gettin’ caught in the rain
Then you need an umbrella
For your drink & your mane
(Going to Wife’s Work Party)
WIFE: Don’t just be quiet like last time.
(Later at Dinner)
ME: Did you know marsupials are not a kind of soup?
I don’t ask for much but can someone please take away the share function on Wordle?
Ok, but if Kit Kats are filled with other broken Kit Kats, how did they make the first Kit kat ever?
Need cheering up? If you watch Jaws backwards, it’s a heartwarming story about a massive shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Stay here and watch people argue or log out and listen to my family argue? Decisions, decisions