@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it's the most important meal.
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@AmishPornStar1: Cashier at the liquor store wished me “Happy Holidays”... As if I’m not going to be back three more times before Christmas.
@notacroc: Therapist: what's upsetting you? Wife: he's always using common phrases incorrectly Me: cry me a table, Linda
@ArfMeasures: [Creation] ANGEL: Ok, bats are done. We just need to decide how they sleep GOD: [on his phone] Hang on ANGEL: [writing] Bit weird but ok