JESUS: Happy Father’s Day, Joe.
[hands over present]

JOSEPH: Wow, thanks Jesus. I wonder what it-
[present is empty]

[Jesus and God hi-5]

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Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like?
Izzy: Pretty girls?
Axl: Nice lawns!
Axl: Green grass!
“Grass is alw-”


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Reflections on this mirror appear uglier than they really are because of the erroneous standards of beauty set by our judgemental society.


*slips on a banamna peel* *lifts up banamna peel w/ end of pen* somone get the detective,. somwhere out there, theres a nude banana


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-country music


My husband left me this morning. Again.

he’ll be back after work, but still. I’m getting really sick of these games.


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