@wolfpupy: jewelry making tip: a simple can of gold spraypaint can turn a chicken nugget into a gold nugget
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@notalogin: [2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human
@GrantTanaka: black friday is crazy, I just maced a kid then some old woman shot me with a crossbow
@TheSadnesses: [first date] “So… you didn’t mention that you’re trapped in 230 million year old amber.” [my motionless eyes glint within my golden shell]
@Loli_Sug: Me: Can you bring me a burrito Him: you want me to come over? Me: no. I want a burrito to come over.