@OhNoSheTwitnt: Jews name their children after their deceased loved ones. This is my son, Healthy Sleep Pattern. He was born on January 21st, 2017.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@10InchesPlus: *sees oven left on "What moron left the oven on!?" *tries repeatedly to turn it off "WTF!? Stupid oven!" *realizes 425 is the time
@Pro_Jones_: (Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet.
@simoncholland: The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.