@

a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:”user”;s:15:”TitaniumToplass”;s:5:”image”;s:66:”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/1616803443/photobomb_bigger.jpg”;s:6:”id_str”;s:18:”319661105335115779″;s:7:”retweet”;s:2:”58″;s:5:”tweet”;s:100:”Jill: Hey, wanna help me get some water?
Jack: Ya, sure, I mean what’s the worst that could happen?”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}

You Might Also Like

@ItsSamG

I nearly choked on a hard boiled egg and I know in my heart a cinnamon bun would never treat me this way

@macchiatonumb

*Me getting pulled over*

Me:license and registration please?

Guy police officer :I pulled u over..

Me:do u really want to argue with me?

@loribuckmajor

Sometimes when my family is especially ungrateful, I don’t wash the vegetables when I make their salads.

@JohnsonDiaz21

My superpower- Finding shortest checkout line that takes the most time.

@lisaOoOo

I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It’s like they don’t know I plan on cropping them out later.

@mjkspeaks

An important phone call is something that occurs when there’s no better excuse to ignore someone.

@Velocycrator

Whenever I’m alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I’m a carrot.

@D_Ciphered

Heaven are the mornings I wake with your head on my chest. The new day’s dawn peeking through the window as you look up at me and say those three little words…

“Brush your teeth!”