Release the episodes where Clarissa Explains dogecoin and how to do my taxes
“So what are your goals for working here?”
To be home by 5
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(i go up to lady pushing baby in stroller and put my foot up on the stroller to address the baby) hey baby… is this woman bothering you
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
4: *hands me a broken toy*
Me: oh no, I’ll see if I can fix it
4: ok but be careful next time
Met a dog named Donut. I don’t need that kind of reminder all day. Excuse me, I have to go take Smaller Portions for a walk.
[first day working at a movie theater]
guy: can I get one large popcorn
me: no but I can give you like a million regular popcorns
You collect clowns AND porcelain dolls??
Are you sure you don’t want some help filling out your dating profile sir?
*presses button for soundproof backseat divider
Wife: “HOW MUCH DID-”
*presses button for soundproof passenger seat divider
If you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?
*walks past yoga studio*
*looks in window*
Awesome. It’s like kindergarten.
*walks into class*
*takes a nap*