@omgthatspunny: Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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@dumbbeezie: Goodnight everyone except the guy who invented that thing that shows that you are typing something
@djdarrellripley: Me: I have to go to a funeral. Her: Oh, I'm so sorry. Who died? Me: One of my clients... It's a business funeral, not a pleasure funeral.
@jwoodham: Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back.