Just saw the first duckface of Spring.

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The only lyrics I can make out in the song “Informer” are “Hey farrrrmer…something….a leaky boom boom cow”.
Not 100% sure though.


a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:”user”;s:8:”kelkulus”;s:5:”image”;s:90:”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/3278807262/1fcf70b5a66e936d490699028532762d_bigger.jpeg”;s:6:”id_str”;s:18:”349553856545427457″;s:7:”retweet”;s:3:”165″;s:5:”tweet”;s:85:”I asked the cashier if she could validate my parking. “You park real good,” she said.”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}



Boss: What do you think?

Me: I think we need to get out in front of this. If we’re not on top of it, it will roll over us and we’ll never get out from under it. Can everybody get behind that?

Boss: You’re not allowed to talk anymore.


Asking me for advice is like asking broccoli to fix your bicycle.


Joker: You’re endangering a minor
Batman: He’s my partner
Joker: Why’s he in his underwear?
Batman: So we match. Look, this isn’t about me.


Person: “Why are you in a wheelchair?”

Me [from my wheelchair]: “My jet pack is in the shop.”


Of course he’s into you. He’s just super-duper busy, messaging other chicks.


Pro Tip: If you’re searching for Moana You Tube video clips for your kids, DO NOT forget the ‘a’ on the end.