@garrettbarry70
@timdonakowski
Your baby’s cute. Not baby elephant cute, but still cute.
You Might Also Like
@timdonakowski
@Marlebean
Netflix and Will…
…you stop trying to touch me?
@Andee_Stewart
*popular kid is struggling in class
*gets a tutor to help
*Kool-Aid
@sammyrhodes
My 3yr old pooped her big girl panties at church today and I forgot the wipes, in case you were feeling bad about being single today.
@fatherofcomedy
They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died.
@robfee
Finding Nemo (2003) A father is criticized for being overprotective after his wife & kids are murdered & his only surviving son is kidnapped
@jake_likes_naps
[at bar]
Gee, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse
*nearby horse slams down his whisky*
COME ON THEN TOUGH GUY
*horse throws the 1st punch*
@MartaEffing
Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you’re kinda boring and you’ve been on top of everything.
@ThugRaccoons
You: Where’s Carl?
Me: That fool done gone and lost his mind
You: Thats too bad. What’s for dinner?
Me: Funny you should ask
@seandunn76
Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis.
Contestant: What is love?
*dance party erupts*