@LittleHarmonica: Kids are like bears. If you play dead eventually they'll leave you alone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iwearaonesie: [grocery store] me *hits back of wife's leg with the cart* Funny running into you h- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok
@iwearaonesie: If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you're staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell "My eyes!" BEFORE she starts changing