I just want to be one of those dads who runs on the field & tackles an opposing 6 year old
“Please pass the bee-nut butte-”
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American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took “the floor is lava” game way to seriously as kids.
[email protected] Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.
Him: hey see you around
Me, a flat earther: *eyes narrow* yeah see you ahead
The smoke detectors just went off in my house and no one even looked up from their phones.
Reasons Pluto is so cold:
3) It’s far from the sun
2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat.
1) It found out we said it’s not a planet.
The Girl With The Grilled Cheese and Bacon Tattoo
I have a hot house to protect me from the cold outside. Inside my hot house I have a smaller cold house to protect my food from the heat of my hot house.
The only way a “staycation” sounds good is if the rest of my family takes a “leavecation”
I’m sorry but I strongly disagree