@markhoppus: Kylo Ren is so tortured because he can’t decide if his final form is supposed to be goth or emo.
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@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, there was a grim recognition of the fundamental uselessness of man's endeavors.
@sarcasticmommy4: My son said that he was bored so I told him he could vacuum, dust or clean the kitchen & Oh! Look at that! He’s nowhere to be found.
@hippieswordfish: ANIMAL CONTROL: what the hell were you thinking ME: releasing birds at a wedding is romantic ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches