Steps for reading articles:
1. Accept cookies
2. Block notifications
3. Deny location to website
4. Decline invitation to subscribe
5. Stop auto-playing video ads/mute sound
6. Dismiss reminder of free articles remaining
7. Shrink drop down banner
8. Click “read more”
9. Give up
You Might Also Like
My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.
…and when you saw 3 sets of footprints in the sand, that’s when it took the entire Holy Trinity to carry you after all those piña coladas.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: is there a doctor on board
ME: *standing up to get skittles from the overhead bin but now everyone is staring at me* yes i’m a doctor
On my first day of college my dad’s only advice was “don’t date any of your teachers!” Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor.
‘Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun.
What does it mean when you’re flirting with a guy and he’s just crying and holding up a crucifix?
I have nothing in common with people that say, “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”
My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week.
I’m afraid I’m gonna need more alcohol to be in this relationship with me