You Might Also Like


Me: they’re my service bees

Him: but they’re not trained. they attack everyone who gets close to you

Me: they’re trained


My “I’m enraged!” status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don’t read well.


Homeschooling update day 3:

Me: *Googles mortality rates for homeschooling parents*


Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!


Every Independence Day I get a little bit disappointed when aliens don’t try to take over the world.


This day in history. 1810. Sweden declared war on its ally the United Kingdom initiating 2 years of fairly spiteful Christmas card exchanges.


Chalant isn’t even a word. Well played nonchalant. Well played.


ME: mom we’re out of eggs again!

MOM: it’s ok, there’s cereal


ME: *throwing cheerios at the mean neighbor’s house* this sucks


goals for 2016:

1) spend more time with my son
2) learn about his fav video games
3) defeat him
4) become video game household champion


Your superhero name is your credit card number, those 3 digits on the back of your card & the expiration date. Comment below so we can all enjoy.