Lately I’ve been really honest with people and so far only 47 people are mad at me

You Might Also Like


The voices in my head have been quiet for a while. They probably broke something.


two months from now, toilet paper still remains out of stock. the people begin to riot. the charmin bears perch upon their mountain of wealth, watching humanity suffer


I’ll take Dumb Ideas for $300, Alex.

Your Answer: sit on the ground and eat food while bugs crawl all over you

What is a picnic?



My wife says I remind her of James Bond. I’m bad at following orders, I’m emotionally dead, and she’d like to see the role go to Idris Elba.


Humans are pretty civilized until a t-shirt is being thrown into a crowd.


Now that my whole family is in our house all the time, it’s just nothing but drive-by shushing of each other all day.


There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman.

So, in answer to your question – probably a bird.


Apparently the safe word has changed to…
NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye….


Facebook is a great platform to find long lost friends to borrow money from.