@rolldiggity: [Opens "Where's Waldo?" book to page with Eiffel Tower.] "Paris. Easy. Next!"

@MarkAgee: My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam.

@NYC_Blonde: Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own.

@TechnicallyRon: David Attenborough, the confusing early years

@thevickster_sa: When your unicorn and dragon start battling each other, it's time to lay off the Ambien