@DDonovan_24

Lets make it happen guys!

You Might Also Like

@wizdsgn

all this spending on black friday… better pay your electricity bill first or next friday will be black friday too

@Amburglar_

I teach curse words and racial slurs to children whose parents allow them to run around restaurants.

@DanMentos

“Hello, 911”
Help I’m being murdered!
“Can you put the murderer on please”
what
“Gotta hear both sides”

@MomOnFire

I’m starving and all I have is a refrigerator full of health food. I hate who I was four days ago.

@noneofyours99

Texts son – to come and hand me my drink 5 feet away

God he’s lazy, took him ten minutes to reply

@stayfrea_

ATMs be having $4 withdrawal fees talking about “cover your pin” mf you the thief

@KeetPotato

my boss: “keith you have 17 outstanding timesheets”
me: “they can’t be that good i haven’t done one in weeks”

@samfromks

I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself.