Me: Honey, have you seen my beer?
Wife: Did you check in the shower?
Me: OOOH!!! Good thinking!
Let’s put the delete button next to the most important, most used button on this app, lol
~App developers probably
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“It’s not you, it’s me.” -Twins looking at some family photos
I see from the Before and After pictures that not only did she lose weight using the product, it also gave her a tan, makeup, and a smile.
this will hang in the louvre one day
I could never be on The Bachelor. I don’t need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It’s bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday.
A Mexican stand-off, but it’s 3 Canadians each trying to pay the bill and they all have to pee
Ain’t no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
Ain’t no high-security psychiatric hospital strong enough
To keep me from yooou
I mean, really though, who hasn’t seen a UFO at this point?
Etsy is cool. One time I bought a ghost