@ohmygrapeness

Lingerie.

…or as I like to call it… fancy pants!

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@Phook75

I’ve spent the better part of my marriage battling to get these two strings inside my wife’s shirt to actually stay on this hanger

@bornmiserable

Guys who say there’s a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.

@deegeemindi

If a recipe does not call for cheese, I’m gonna assume they forgot it and add an entire large bag. Well 3/4 of bag cause I ate some of it.

@E_lok44

A group of held hands can raise your spirits.
It’s séance!

@flashember

the CIA has been tracking me for years cuz they know i saw two sharks jump out of the water and hi-5 but i’d rather die than rat out a shark

@JPLFR80

How long does Chewbacca take to shampoo his hair?