@dubstep4dads

Local Singles 2.9 Miles From Your Area
*refresh page*
Local Singles 3.7 Miles From Y..
“no dont leave”
*refresh page*
Local Singles 7.8 Mile

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@TheAlexNevil

Once bitten, twice shy.
Except if you were bitten by a shark. Then you might be dead, and shyness won’t be an issue.

@kaytaa

Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading “Hungry Hungry Hobo”. I shouldn’t laugh right?

@tchrquotes

What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn’t eat whole rotisserie chickens?

@Sanbel11

-Come on, it’s time to go

-No

-We are going to be late

-I hate school

-But Mum, you have to take me!

@iamledgin

Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal – decide which type of annoying person you want to be.

@sarawrencomedy

*in a fight with my dr boyfriend*

HIM: I’m sorry about last night.

ME: *takes a bite of an apple*

@ktbonz

My cousin met her husband five years ago on tinder and are now married with kids but she still has him in her phone as “Tom Tinder”

@TheDizzyBeauty

Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don’t have any kids.