Once bitten, twice shy.
Except if you were bitten by a shark. Then you might be dead, and shyness won’t be an issue.
Local Singles 2.9 Miles From Your Area
Local Singles 3.7 Miles From Y..
“no dont leave”
Local Singles 7.8 Mile
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Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading “Hungry Hungry Hobo”. I shouldn’t laugh right?
What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn’t eat whole rotisserie chickens?
-Come on, it’s time to go
-We are going to be late
-I hate school
-But Mum, you have to take me!
Hey, guy in Prius blasting heavy metal – decide which type of annoying person you want to be.
*in a fight with my dr boyfriend*
HIM: I’m sorry about last night.
ME: *takes a bite of an apple*
My cousin met her husband five years ago on tinder and are now married with kids but she still has him in her phone as “Tom Tinder”
Story of my life.
Kinda creepy that my kids got in a screaming match over which one is my favorite since I don’t have any kids.
Boss: Can I see you in my office?
Me: Idk how dark is it?