If your taco gets arrested what do you need to bring to the jail?
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The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out.
Better names for porcupines:
Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex.
The monkey’s name is Earl. He bites.
*40’s after sex*
Her: ‘That was amazing. Let’s do it again.’
Gremlins(1984): a shopkeeper with a creature so powerful it could destroy all human life gives it to a 12yo boy. Many lives are lost.(PG13)
Somebody in here smells really good. I will hunt you down. I will sniff you.
SCIENTIST: the earth is dying
ME: oh no how long do we have
SCIENTIST: 8 maybe 9 months
ME: so what you’re saying is no more condoms