Hubs: You’re home all day, why isn’t the house clean?
Me: You’re at work all day, why aren’t we rich?
[Looking out the window]
Me: I don’t understand this show.
You Might Also Like
* flirting with disaster
Don’t hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game.
This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, “Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend” on it. I’m so torn right now
*goes to fabric store*
Do you guys have boyfriend material?
Day 2 of home schooling:
One is taking a maths test in bed, two is taking his psychology lesson in the toilet and I can’t find the third.
Dyslexics are teople poo!
God: you run really fast.
God: people ride you in circles for sport.
Horse: kindof weird but ok
God: also don’t break a leg.
Horse: God? why?
when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they’ll know about the wedding but won’t be allowed to go
him: let’s go check out the beds 😉
me: *mouthful of meatballs* they sell furniture here?