*jumps from plane*
*grabs onto flying squirrel*
*lives to tell the tale*
Losing your spouse can be hard.
But it’s not impossible.
You Might Also Like
100% per cent of survey respondents said: help us get out of this tall tree. we didn’t know this survey involved being stuck in a tree
got fired from my job in the funeral home for inventing casketball
My mother-in-law is visiting & I told my 14-year old to make menus for brunch this morning & they just invented the most popular restaurant in Williamsburg.
I’m sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth.
Don’t embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public.
Just be a man, walk over there, and slowly zip it up for him.
DOCTOR: Your baby seems a bit sluggish
SNAIL WIFE: Oh no
HUSBAND: *thinks about their slug neighbour* I KNEW IT
The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we’ll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.
If my wife calls me passive-aggressive one more time I swear to God I’m going to run the dishwasher half-empty again
This generation sucks but does it swallow