the divorce rate for socks is 100%
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If Jesus died for our sins then why are there so many popups when i try to watch a movie online illegally
He didn’t know that balancing your knife on the edge of the sink means you may make a second sandwich, so now we have some serious talking to do.
dating tip: do NOT kiss their dad on the first date to establish dominance. wait until at least the second date. he will respect you more
Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?
When you get fired from a job, you don’t stay around and watch other people do your job.
Fun tip – instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you’re sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire.
this has to be peak English
it’s funny they call them “unidentified flying objects”. I could identify them right away. those are ufos
My toddler keeps running over and yelling “BOO!” in my face.
It’s totally unnecessary, though. I’ve been completely terrified of him since the day he was born.
Some dude told me he’s had 100 times more girls than me which made me laugh so much because 100 x 0 is still 0.