@GirlCode

Make sure you know what you’re getting tonight…#HAPPYHALLOWEEN. #GirlCode

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@sirchutney

Just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome.

I really didn’t like the first couple of chapters, but by the end I loved it.

@QwertyJones3

“WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!”

Can you please stop being so melondramatic.

@StellaRtwot

Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren’t for babies and now my brother says I can’t be the God Mother.

@Bluestmoon_

*Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone.

*Adds “extremely organized” to resume.

@LoriLuvsShoes

So I told my husband that I have a TC and he said, “that’s really cute. See if he wants to fund your shoe addiction”

@PersianCeltic

When I die I want my tombstone to say free WiFi so people will visit more often. I will also name the network “HELP, I’M STILL ALIVE!”

@melliemeow

I have on my new shoes today. They are so cute, and comfortable, as long as I don’t stand in them or walk in them.

@BatBatshitcrazy

I like to refer to what gravity has done to my body as the rise and fall of the Roman Empire.