@NewDadNotes: Wife: [frantically searching kitchen] I can’t find my stir fry pans.
Me: looks like we need to go for a wok. lol.
Wife: you hid them just to make that pun didn’t you?
Me: you butter believe it : )
@InternetHippo: A witch cursed Tom Brady to win football games until he dies. All he wants is a quiet life with his family but every Sunday he blacks out like a werewolf and commits unspoken evils on the field