Management discussing if there are beneficial ways to use Artificial Intelligence in the library’s operations. I suggested we try experimenting with the real stuff first.
You Might Also Like
Don’t you hate it when you misjudge a moment of silence and lean in for a kiss.
Worst police interrogation ever.
If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.
*eating freshly baked cookies*
4: I want lots more!
Me: you’ve had a lot already… I don’t want you to get a stomachache
4: but *I* want a stomachache!!!
the small neighbor human and i. have been working on a puzzle. for quite some time. we only have one piece left. but we can’t find it anywhere. i hope i didn’t eat it. that sounds like something i might do
Penn and Teller is my favourite double act that sounds like 2 things you find in a bank
Most adults have thirty-two teeth but you can have as many as you like if your pockets are big enough
Teen: Mom, I forgot my key and I won’t be home until midnight. Can you leave the front door unlocked?
– clearly my teen needs to watch more true crime documentaries.
People say they’re gung-ho about saving the environment, but propose reusing toilet paper at a city council meeting one time and suddenly global warming’s “not that big of a deal” and “you’re not welcome here”
PRINCE CHARMING: The glass slipper fits! You’re my true love!
CINDERELLA: worst 👏 dating app 👏 ever
Most people: I guess balloons are ok
Me:
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her! And that’s when my son went back to playing Minecraft 🙁
sometimes you see a really brain-dead “political theory” take on here, then you realize it’s just a 19-year-old who figured out a really verbose way to say they hate school
to revive an exhausted bee, leave out a little bit of sugar mixed with water
to revive an exhausted wasp, give it a cigarette and ask it if it really believes that god can kill it
Me: “authenticity” is a weird concept with food. Most people would consider pizza to be more Italian than American. But the tomato only came to Italy in the 16th Century from, you guessed it, the Americas
Domino’s guy: please let me go, the app knows where I am
You take the oxy out of oxymoron
*handing nurse a bedpan*
Me: I pooped in thisNurse: you’re not a patient here
I can hear fireworks so I have to go leave a nose print on every window of my house to try to find them
“Your panties are so cute!! Let’s show everyone in the parking lot!!”
– The wind, apparently.
A cat is the animal equivalent of the girl who hated you for no reason in high school.
Today, I want to talk about petting a cat with wet hands and why that’s no good for your hands or the cat.
M. Night Shyamalan showed me his new screenplay where the coronavirus turns out to be Bruce Willis this whole time.
Installed a new high-tech toilet. It’s now holding my bathroom hostage and demanding a Wi-Fi password.
If the first rule of fight club is not talking about fight club, how did fight club ever get off the ground?
I’d prob date Pete Davidson too if Instagram showed me a targeted ad for him more than 3x
I wonder if tarantulas are nostalgic for the 70s, when excessive body hair was still cool?
WIFE: Did you sleep with my sister?
INSOMNIAC: No
Nailed it…🗑️🐇😅
Please excuse the state of my house, it will be clean if you can come back in 2053 when all my kids have moved out.
Cop: get down!
Me: *starts dancing*
Cop: *shoots at my feet* FASTER
My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.