@bdbdleeroybrown: Marriage is for people who want their break ups to involve paperwork.
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@1followernodad: Even getting salmonella from cookie dough would not convince me that you can get salmonella from cookie dough
@Kaladas4U2NV: I lost 7 followers today. It's nice to know some people are finally reading my tweets
@minnascule: just learned that “hanky panky” is not slang for “hankering for a pancake”. feeling devastated