@BubblesnBooze: Marriage, when you drink as much as possible before your husband gets home so you can just drink 1 glass of wine in front of him.
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@jkrambles: It's not God I dislike, He's cool. it's certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way.
@BlindChow: [1st moon landing] Mission Ctrl: Be sure to say something important & profound Neil: Ok *steps onto moon* Neil: *clears throat* I'm a vegan
@ojedge: [red carpet] "So Ryan, who are u with tonight?" Ryan Gosling [proudly] "My parents" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]
@GABBYdaAngSaya: God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years